Thursday, April 11, 2013

Advice.

This isn't the post I planned to write for today. I'm still trying to get through all of my travel posts, then there'll be the treasures, then I'll be back to my regularly scheduled ramblings.

Sometimes life happens, though. I need help.

My closest friend in DC found that her semi-long distance (they live two hours apart) boyfriend of two and a half years cheated on her.

She seemed to be taking it well and very rationally. She has been open about the situation to coworkers and friends, staying the facts that she kicked him to the curb. She said she felt an overwhelming sense of being free and that it was a long tome coming. It's much better than I would imagine to be.

Still, I watched her and tried to keep her busy. I invited her to sleep over on a weeknight. We took a long walk (endorphins make you happy), I didn't ask questions, and we talked about him and many other things. He texted her. She deleted it. We watched a movie, drank wine, and flipped through bridal magazines (at her suggestion). It was a good night.

The next night, we went to a workout class. We sweated through it, drove with the windows down and the music loud on our way home (DC's teasing us with simmer weather), and then she broke. She cried, wondering what she had done, how she could've been better, and why he wasn't apologizing for what he did, just for how he made her feel.

I've known people that have been cheated on before, and I hope I was there for them, and I hope I made it clear to them that the situation had nothing to do with them. The cheater cheated because they are awful excuses for people and there's nothing that could've been done to stop it. It wasn't an accident, it was a conscious decision to hurt, and that's immaturity in its basest form. Things will only get better from there.

I don't know if that's enough, though. I know words aren't resonating right now with her- she said she can't make herself believe that things will be better, that she'll find a better man, and that she will be happier.

I know she's not the only one to have experienced this. What can I do to help? How can I be a better friend? How can I distract her and not have us eat a jar of icing? How can I prove that she's not alone, that no one's alone, and that things will get better? I know they will, and I know people that have experienced this, and I need help.

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