Thursday, December 6, 2012

Pineapple pinings.

I've been in the market for a ceramic pineapple for approximately 8 months.

That may seem like a long time and an unusual object, but if I can make myself wait, it helps me to fully decide on what I want, which generally leads to less buyer's remorse. Generally. Sometimes it leads to an obsessive creation in my head that I can't match to reality, but I can generally spot that on the brink of its leap into crazytown and slam on the breaks, as in the case with my curtains.

Well, I was feeling desperate, but still not willing to shell out the big monies, so I put it on my Christmas list that I sent to my boyfriend and youngest sister, Stephanie, at their request. Note that my boyfriend is not also my sister. I don't know why I keep reading it like that. Did I miss a comma? It should also be known that I am incredibly bad at losing control in certain situations, so I will micromanage to the death. I like to think I'm getting better at it with most things, but with things that I've created in my head, I even micromanage myself so there's little hope for outsiders. Read: present-givers. Read: people that I'm very close with. Read: I'm crazy. So the pineapple went on the list with a very clear description and a link to what I wanted exactly. The exactly was $80, and I wasn't into that part of it. I was totally into someone else being into an $80 white ceramic pineapple.

A few days later, Stephie texted me that the pineapple was on Amazon for $25. I was confused, hurt, angry, excited, all-in-one. How could they put the pineapple on there without telling me? I had checked right before hitting send on my list and didn't see it. I didn't know if her information was telling me that she would get the pineapple, but I couldn't miss this opportunity. So I asked. Flat out. She was confused, I think, but I also think she started to get a hold of how manic I'd become and wanted no part of that or the rare instance in which I received it and it wasn't "the one," so she let me have it. I jumped on Amazon. The pineapple was MINE!

I really want to share, I do, but just as quickly as he was mine, he was gone again. I would recommend pretending not to care, but stalking Amazon on the down-low, and maybe he'll reappear.

As it was approaching Thanksgiving and I was headed to Mum's house, I switched the shipping there. I couldn't be bothered to deal with the torment of it sitting on my apartment porch, or worse, the leasing office grabbing it and holding it hostage with their wonky office house.

It arrived and was just as perfect as I created it in my head. Except that it wasn't shiny enough. No worries - three coats of clear glossy spray paint solved that little hiccup.

As I rationalized explained to Mum, I needed a pineapple because I like in Alexandria and the pineapple is the symbol of hospitality and welcome. Also, I love living in Alexandria right now and want to keep a little touch of that southern vibe with me, wherever I may go. I also realize that Alexandria, VA is not the true south in some minds, but it is below the Mason-Dixon line. For a girl that hails from Pittsburgh, has parents with a strong Michigan upbringing and went to Ohio State, this is the south. I only knew the Mid-West before, and it was the eastern Mid-West at that.

For now, he's on top of the fridge, hanging with the wine corks and acting as a topper to Christmas cards we received last year. It's great because it's at a height where you can see him from the living room, fairly quickly upon your entrance to the apartment, and it's in the kitchen so it makes sense. He did live in the living room for a bit before this though, so don't think that the food connotation will limit him in the least.

Isn't he pretty? I can't see a wine rack, or wine bottles, really, without hearing, 'We are wiiiine bottles' in my head. So you should, too. Warning, you should like kittens, and be able to handle high pitches.

He does get a little lost though, thus the arrow that I added, much like the football first down lines, so I'm not sure it'll be his permanent residence. That, and I'm not convinced the fridge is completely level and I would cry it he fell.

See, you can barely see him up there. It could be the wash out from the camera, but I'm not taking chances. He'll probably swipe the spot of the sweater vases after the season. And just like that, you got a silhouette sneak peak of our Christmas decor.

He's sitting pretty where he's at for now though, so this is where we stand. It should be noted that by sitting pretty, I really mean that I carry him around all evening, setting him in new locations, stepping back to admire, then walking around some more. Sorry for the confusion.

Welcome to my apartment! We're a little crazy here. I'm throwing my roommate in that association for good measure.

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